Sort of like a filler episode: here’s a headband!

So while I’m working on 12 inches of suckingnette stitch for the sweater, updating about it isn’t as exciting as you would think. I really don’t have anything important to say about it other than, “so I purled one side, turned it over, and knit the other side. KA-POW ACTION HERE’S 50 PICTURES OF IT.” and I don’t think that even merits a blog post. In the meantime, as I get over this boring hurdle of my knitting life, I’ll just make posts on past things I’ve made and share some awesome patterns I’ve found.

I was shopping on Red Heart a month ago and I learned a new lesson in life. The thumbnail picture of the yarn may not necessarily reflect what it will look like in real life. You’d think I’d have learned this lesson when carelessly ordering through Forever21 and realizing their graphic editor’s version of “green” isn’t actually the store’s version of it. ANYWAY, I ordered a skein of bull fleck and a skein of tan – both of which I assumed would have a more beige/darker tone to it. So I ended up getting two skeins of yarn that I just didn’t care about – they looked more orange to me than anything. SO WHAT COULD I MAKE WITH THESE???

I found this adorable pattern: Eyes of Style – Chunky Cable Knit Crown Headband

I thought this was perfect since I also ordered 9mm needles with said yarns, and I had several cable needles and an unspoken affinity for cabling in general.

What I was missing was super bulky yarn, but I figured I could really just two birds one stone it by using both balls of yarn at the same time. So thus began my journey into knitting with two strands.

Thankfully I started from the inside of the yarn and kept everything nice and clean.

This was super fast – less than a hour to make and so easy to remember that I didn’t need to keep track of my rows after the 3rd time. I had to ditch the cable needle though, because it was way too small and my knitting got super tight when I used them. Instead I traded for this giant red knitting needle I have that isn’t double-pointed SO for the back cabling I had to transfer them on the damn thing, do my cable magic, and then pull the needle out and reverse it with all the cat-like grace and agility I could muster. That being said, I lost the stitches more often than I care to share here, but I only had to do that like 9 times out of the entire thing so really…

In the end I made something cute and warm…

.. that I realized was one pattern repeat too large for my head SO I cut through it, frogged 9 rows and re-joined it. Always a learning process, always a learning process.

Then I made 2 more as gifts. 🙂

Seeing as it’s snowing today because we already had that one day in March where it was warm, I think I’ll wear it when I go out.

Making a Sweater: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the circulars.

The Goal: a cap-sleeve all season sweater

The Pattern: Purl Bee’s Cap Sleeve Lattice Top, found after bitterly searching for something that wouldn’t send me screaming into the hills out of fear. The words “worked flat” and distinctly familiar yo, k2tog, and suckingnette stitch made me feel ready to tackle this.

So let’s start with the fact I went to my LYS and prepared myself for this THREE months ago. Instead of white and grey, I decided the best approach is to blind my enemies with candy apple red and white. I left them in my yarn box to (possibly) ferment for a while, along with two circular needles until this past weekend.

Let me start this with a “Don’t Do What Donny Dont Does” for you all: First, try getting acquainted with circular needles before starting. Second, try actually making a gauge before starting as well. Thankfully for the latter I’m on point, which brings me to…

I started off all right, casting on my stitches

Unfortunately as I started the only two rows of simple purls and knits needed for the first 1 3/4 inches of this thing, I had no actual idea what the fuck I was doing anymore. I accidentally walked away after finishing a row and had no idea what side I was on. I ended up fixing this briefly by deciding to use a safety pin and attaching it onto the side I needed to start on next (and shortly after that I figured out what was the “right” side and the “wrong” side so now that’s a useless dangler. This was also after I started over 3 times and did an entire row wrong because I couldn’t be bothered to go back and read the instructions for row 2. All the times I’ve said, “did you read over the question?” to my students was completely lost on me, apparently.

And we’re off!

After this promising streak of success, I plunged into moving all 103 stitches onto my larger circular AND begin a one-row yarn over and k2tog thing that I destroyed to badly within the first 5 stitched that not only did I wreck that row, but also two rows below it I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW. I pulled that all apart, had a one-woman prayer circle on my floor, and managed to put my smaller needles back on and re-do that entire mess.

I still have no idea what I did. I didn’t even end the row where I was supposed to, but it still has 103 stitches and the promised eyelets. So I have now moved on to 12 inches of exciting neverending fun suckinette stitches. Here’s where I am now:

So as I continue on this brave new world with (hopefully) minimal swearing and needling throwing, I’m going to update with progress pictures and any new riveting adventures about this. Because this is riveting stuff, I’m sure you’re all really happy this is a knitting and crochet blog now, aren’t you?

How to properly destroy your soul while engaging in the yarned crafts.

I’m my biggest critic when it comes to making things. While you’re sitting there in awe wondering how this human took yarn and made a bunch of consecutive loops in it to form a perfect hat, I’m sitting there repulsed by my flimflam. Attaching things with yarn? Wow, way off. Did you even follow the pattern? Probably not, words are hard. So lately (and thanks to a lovely conversational thread on smash_club – will get into that later) I’ve taken to offering myself some scathing criticism to really up my yarn game. Some lovely gems I’ve mumbled to myself in the middle of a brioche stitch scarf that honestly makes my wrist hurt, a basketweave knit scarf that was frogged last night, and several crochet projects of varying importance:

“You call that a stockinette stitch? More like suckingette stitch.”

“Your purling has made me seriously consider hurling.”

“This is genuinely a thing of knitmares.”

“Double crochet? More like double fail.”

Since there is a huge time gap between what I wrote above and what I’m currently writing (two months later, I decide to blog moar) I’d like to update that I’m still very good at self-deprecating yarn crafting. Tonight, my start of making a sweater began with cautious optimism and was shortly followed with several froggings and a lot of, “what the fuck did I just do with this thing? Circulars? Actually, circuFAILS.”

It’s really got me thinking that the main purpose of this blog (yes, I’m changing it again) should be an online recording of all my knitting and crochet successes and losses. Because I really want to scream about not getting a pattern right. Or showcase my latest “nailed it” piece.

I hope you enjoy the crap I will be spewing on here from now on. 🙂