And no, I’m not going to be taking the “boring” and “your hobby is not my hobby stop” route with this… mostly. But after a visit to my local knitting store and talking to the person at the counter about knitting bags – she mentioned that with knitting bags she can grab a project and go – it pleased me that there I’m not the only person working multiple knitting projects at once. Then it got me thinking to what exactly it is I’m doing with my yarn. So I give you this poor excuse of a post:
The Three Kinds of Knitting Projects (People Like Me Do)
1. Social Knitting
Also known as Beginning Knitting. Also known as, “hey society, I am not fully shutting you out to do this we can have a pleasant chat while I go through all these repetitive motions”. Also known as, “This hockey game is interesting, but not devoting-my-full-attention-to-it-interesting.” Basically, sit back and enjoy doing a knit stitch 153000 times until you make something. I ended up making a rather long scarf this way, by the end of it I wanted to pull my eyeballs out of my skull with my needles in an attempt to liven up the task.
2. “Leave me the Fuck Alone” Knitting
This one is called “I learned something fancy and new and want to try it out so I’m not even thinking about how much I will enjoy it an hour later” knitting. Let me paint a picture here. I learned to purl recently and in my utter excitement for moving up beyond the ladder rung of Social Knitting, I wanted to stretch my abilities to the outer limits. So I began this 40 stitch knit two, purl two pile of concentrated anger. It’s not only enough that I spend most of my time muttering “knit, purl, knit, purl” while doing this, but the other half of the time I am attempting to untangle the yarn ball that I stupidly didn’t bother to unwind and re-ravel (WHY IS THIS NOT A VITAL PIECE OF KNOWLEDGE HERE????) So in between my rage-induced mantra and trying to pull my entire needle through the knottiest knot that ever knotted, I also take delight in screaming away anyone that tries to talk to me during what apparently is supposed to be a relaxing hobby that should be lowering my blood pressure to comatose states.
Congratulations! You bought a ball of yarn! Maybe you liked the colour of it, maybe it was the texture. Whatever the case may be you dreamed of what elaborate projects you could make with it once you complete your other projects. But suddenly, like every other passing whimsy in your life – playing the guitar, learning yoga, that 3 year live-in relationship you picked up – the magic dulls. Days lapse into weeks into months into years, this hopeful bundle of spun fibers waits patiently for its time to shine.