How to properly destroy your soul while engaging in the yarned crafts.

I’m my biggest critic when it comes to making things. While you’re sitting there in awe wondering how this human took yarn and made a bunch of consecutive loops in it to form a perfect hat, I’m sitting there repulsed by my flimflam. Attaching things with yarn? Wow, way off. Did you even follow the pattern? Probably not, words are hard. So lately (and thanks to a lovely conversational thread on smash_club – will get into that later) I’ve taken to offering myself some scathing criticism to really up my yarn game. Some lovely gems I’ve mumbled to myself in the middle of a brioche stitch scarf that honestly makes my wrist hurt, a basketweave knit scarf that was frogged last night, and several crochet projects of varying importance:

“You call that a stockinette stitch? More like suckingette stitch.”

“Your purling has made me seriously consider hurling.”

“This is genuinely a thing of knitmares.”

“Double crochet? More like double fail.”

Since there is a huge time gap between what I wrote above and what I’m currently writing (two months later, I decide to blog moar) I’d like to update that I’m still very good at self-deprecating yarn crafting. Tonight, my start of making a sweater began with cautious optimism and was shortly followed with several froggings and a lot of, “what the fuck did I just do with this thing? Circulars? Actually, circuFAILS.”

It’s really got me thinking that the main purpose of this blog (yes, I’m changing it again) should be an online recording of all my knitting and crochet successes and losses. Because I really want to scream about not getting a pattern right. Or showcase my latest “nailed it” piece.

I hope you enjoy the crap I will be spewing on here from now on. 🙂


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