How about some crochet?

So this whole crochet thing took off for me, kind of like knitting did but faster. So I made a thing a few weeks ago and then made the mistake of posting it on Instagram where I had several requests to make said thing. I think I got it down on my last attempt, so here’s a made-up pattern from someone who has never written a pattern before. Hell, most of the time I skim patterns… I’m on the internet, I don’t have time to read.

Bow Neck Cowl

What you will need:

  • 9mm crochet hook
  • 4.5mm crochet hook
  • Yarn of your choice, can be two colours or not. The white yarn I used it from Cascade Yarns Ecological Wool and is thick. I have no idea what the grey yarn is anymore. I fathom any worsted weight yarn would work for what you’re about to do in this sham of a tutorial.
  • large needle for weaving, optional.


Chain approx 40 to 50 chains. I like to wrap the yarn around my neck to check the length before continuing. Add or remove chains for desired length.

row 1: turn, half-double crochet (hdc) on 3rd chain, hdc each chain after that.

row 2: chain 2, turn, hdc for every stitch.

Repeat this until desired width, about 12-14 rows.

When finished, fold scarf in half so the ends meet and crochet to bind the ends together, I used hdc for this as well since that seems to be all I can do. Snip ends and make a double knot to secure.

Using extra yarn and a weaving needle (I just used a smaller crochet hook) weave in and out of your scarf at the place where you bound it. When finished hold weaving yarn and cinch the scarf so it bunches up, then wrap the yarn around a few times to keep it there. Tie off.

Bow: Follows the same hdc pattern like the above, except with a smaller hook and shorter chain. Chain 20. hdc all rows until bow reaches appropriate width (about 7-8 rows). You will get a rectangle. Use extra yarn to wrap around the middle to get the bow shape. Attach the bow to the rest of the cowl.

And there you have it. The one pictured above was a huge hit for the friend I gave it to – later on we were delighted to see that it managed to fit as a headband so there is a picture of my boyfriend’s brother showing off what I hope will the start of his new fashion phase. I still maintain it looks better as a cowl.

Anyway, I think this is the most disparaging tutorial ever posted on the internet for crocheting. I mean, I put pattern in quotation marks up there, clearly I think very highly of my crafting. I’m making myself a huge chunky circle scarf that I hope to share super soon – also featuring an accessory from someone who actually is creative. You’ll have to see that soon!


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